Across the top of each screen of this site is the following statement: "Focusing on continuous quality improvement and wellness." When this site was developed during the last quarter of 2001, I selected this as a guiding statement and I continue to believe that improving the quality of life for self and for others is my key goal. Wellness (meaning physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual well-being) is a laudable goal for each of us. Now, as I begin the ninth year of Knight's Journey, I shall better define the journey that this site was developed to explore.
The journey, simply defined, is one toward transforming one's self to the most authentic person possible. This is a process and not an end point.
Perhaps the best way to begin is to discuss a point made previously. I spoke of a behavioral contract for making change. One step in the contract is to know how one would look, act, and feel differently once he or she had made a target change. Let's take a look at a few ways that you will know how you would look, act, and feel differently once you have traveled the road that I have suggested.
The most amazing facet of change for me has been clarity. Think of a warm spring day after a brief rain when everything in nature is crystal clear. The picture on the front page of this website was taken on such a day. Things are so clear that one can discern detail from a great distance. This type of clarity can exist in the way that you perceive people, groups and processes. The muddy and murky water of our world of people will slowly begin to clear. For me, this process has derived from many sources. The accompanying behavior to this clarity is concise the thoughtful action that is seen by others.
Another benefit is not feeling trapped in an ego that wants recognition and things. It is a very freeing feeling when "winning" and "possessing" really do not mean anything. Knowing that a person isn't what they have, what they do, or what others think of them is an important step. When serving others is the ultimate goal and this is done in true sincerity, other things take care of themselves - the bills are paid and true friends are abundant.
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Each person approaches a path to true happiness from a somewhat different direction. There is no right or wrong paths as long as the path does not harm self or others. I will share some of my path in hopes that you can build on a few of my experiences.
For me, a good education as a social scientist has been useful. However, more important than formal education have been opportunities that I have sought separate from my formal education. During the mid-seventies I became involved in the town hall movement of the ICA (Institute of Cultural Affairs). This was the organization that helped re-build Fifth City after the Chicago riots of 1968. This experience allowed me to see how communities are really re-built and where terms such as empowerment and community organization became more than catchy phrases used by academics and human service workers. It is in these settings where one learns the truth from un-truth.
Two decades later, when studying the work of Dr. David Hawkins, I realized that I had learned many of his lessons somewhere along my journey. Perhaps the years of learning and using TA (transactional analysis) to understand the underlining meaning of individual behavior had enabled me to discern truth from un-truth. The undergraduate and graduate courses in social psychology seemed to have added meaning in those areas that focused on the development, maintenance, and change of attitudes and beliefs. As a psychology professor, I then asked students to define the processes involved in forming and changing attitudes. During this exploration, I learned much from my students.
Perhaps the primary key is to let go of past wounds, hatred, judgment and elitist thinking. The taking of a college course or seminar, reading a book, or the many other activities where one can gain a piece of the whole is frequently lost because this effort is not seen as a piece of the whole. Life, for many, is a series of random events that are not framed within any particular context. The personal transformation of letting go of the ego can be seen as a context into which one may take all that they do and place it into a deliberate journey. This includes all that occurs - including those things that are painful. Somewhere along the journey, one learns that anything that happens in life has the potential to be the best thing that could happen and that there is purpose or intention in all that occurs.
Why are there so few people who wish to pursue the life-long road to simplicity and quiet caring. The primary reason is that most people wish to build a tower of ego enhancing material goods and recognition. For those who know of this path, many do not wish to let go of his or her ego. Many people wish to believe that they can find a quick fix that will accomplish their life goals - such as peace, serenity, wealth, etc. Perhaps the litmus test for such belief systems is whether, once immersed in it, one becomes narrow minded, increasingly fearful, and excludes those who are not in agreement with that belief system. If hatred and disgust becomes a condescending form of tolerance and a way to feel superior to others, one has bought into the absence of serenity. Many seemingly simple belief paths are convoluted and deceiving paths that take one toward bigotry and ignorance.
A great deal of Knight's Journey is about maintaining change. The reason for this emphasis is everywhere. Look around you. How many people do you know that struggle to lose weight and keep it off, to quit smoking forever, to stop being angry or to carry out something that they have started working on dozens of times. Maintaining change and then reaching a state of continuous quality improvement in life is a big deal and requires some skills and abilities that must be acquired and then maintained. These difficult changes are a bi-product of letting go and becoming your authentic self.
As I frequently told heroin addicts living in a long-term and very difficult therapeutic community, "you can do this the hard way or the easy way." The easy way was to let go and to let God (one's higher power). It was up to each person to identify what that was. However, the path to peace and serenity comes with becoming one with all that is. It is not trying to swim upstream against the current. It is not thinking that one way is the only right way and that people can take many roads to arrive at the same destination without running over and discounting others on their journey. Letting go is not a natural state for most people.
Fortunately, many people are involved in a 12-step program. This is a lifelong opportunity to use a well thought-out and inspired process to reach a level of serenity and to maintain sobriety. For those who require assistance in maintaining change, this is an ideal process that has a built-in support network and steps for success. People who are in 12-step programs have a great launching pad for traveling the path to happiness and to serving others. I suggest that everyone, who is interested in traveling a new path, take a look at the strengths of the 12-step process. Discerning the strengths of this process will be a step in the right direction.
One interesting lesson is that silence and listening is more important than noise and talking. Many people are always asking others or their higher power for what they want, but spend very little time feeling gratitude for what they have or listening and receiving. It is during those times when we can totally quiet our mind that we have that connection to the intention of all that is, has been or will ever be. It is during these times that we realize our connection to all things. If simply having quiet time is difficult, work on the most basic forms of meditation and then slowly expand this process.
One cannot keep what they have without giving it away. This is not a reference to money, but could be. However, people hoard money and things until death. Love, serenity and a true piece of mind cannot be hoarded. It must be shared and, with this sharing, it increases. This website, my volunteer work at a homeless shelter, and my presentations at national conferences are some of the ways that I give away what I have. This giving is part of the feedback loop of the clarity that I referenced in the beginning of this article.
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Wondering Where You Are On the Path?
If you often wonder where you are on the path of transforming your life toward increased serenity, I suggest reading a wonderful national bestseller - Illuminata: A Return to Prayer by Marianne Williamson. Read a few pages each morning or each night and digest the text thoroughly. To the extent that you understand the content and live your life in accordance with the text, you are letting go and letting a higher power into your life. The distance that you must travel to reach comfort with living these principles is a good indication of the path and distance of your journey.
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