The ways in which we structure our time is extremely important. There is a relationship between the way we structure our time and the expenditure of our limited energy. The following short essay addresses one glance into a growing reality - the obsession for sensationalism that focuses on either the misfortunes of others or on those with whom we do not agree.
Some of the most profound, but most simple, information in the teachings of the Masters seem to get lost. Dr. Wayne Dyer, in The Wisdom of the Ages, frequently states that we are not what we have, what we do, or what others think about us. Once one thinks about these statements for a short time, he or she will either agree or will look more closely at the meanings. How and why we place importance on people and events in our lives says a great deal about the root causes of our self-image. I especially see this when people lose a job or go through other life changing events. Examples of who we really are include such things as how we treat others and how we give support and comfort to those in need. A person's true essence can be seen in his or her feelings and actions toward our environment and helping to assure that the world, for future generations, is protected. Our concern and our willingness to understand those who are different from ourselves is a measure of who we are. There are many measures and they do not necessarily include what we have, what we do, and how others think of us.
An old friend of mine grew-up in a Los Angeles ghetto. He told me that he does not watch movies or television shows that focuses on the drug culture. For many years, he witnessed people putting needles in their arm and all other forms of getting high. He saw people nodding-out, stealing from relatives, and dying. He basically said that he did not have a need to be reminded that people are capable of doing all of these things.
As I have matured, I have had an increasing appreciation of his point of view. We all know that people can lead tragic lives and are capable of dreadful deeds. Must we constantly remind ourselves of these things?Many of us follow the lives of those whom we admire – movie stars, politicians, and athletes - to name a few. I watch Biography or Larry King when the focus is on someone of interest to me. However, some people spend an inordinate amount of time watching, reading, and learning about those whom they do not like and will then pontificate about how awful people can be or about what sad lives they lead. A good example is getting wrapped-up in the lives of celebrities and then becoming judgmental about them. Besides the obvious (they don’t really care what we think), we are pouring our mental energy and time down the toilet. Although there is something to be gained from admiration, there is nothing to be gained from being judgmental and focusing on the misfortunes or actions of others to feel better about ones self.
If we reach a laudable state of mind where we do not care about what others think about us and paradoxically spend time inappropriately thinking about others, we have developed quite an paradox. Important teachings are two-way streets. They apply to us as well as to others. When we say that we are not what others think about us, we are also making an important statement about how we utilize our time thinking about others.
Unfortunately, the media makes billions on the fact that people love to judge others and to revel in gossip. People will actually purchase a tabloid because there is an unbecoming picture of a celebrity on the cover or because it contains a bizarre piece of gossip on the cover. When I see this, I often think of a memorable statement from a wonderful lady friend – “rise above it”.
A complementary lesson is that there are things that we can control and things that we cannot. We know that we can change ourselves, but can seldom change or control others. We can work toward being agents of change by using our skills and abilities to help those who wish to be helped. What is the point in spending time reading and watching tabloid stories and FOX news. Instead, begin each day by looking at people’s strengths. Don’t reinforce those who make a living by criticizing others.
The one important caveat to the fact that you aren’t what you have, what you do, or what others think of you is that you must live your life in the most moral and helpful way possible. As long as you abide by this rule, you need not fear how others may perceive you. Also, put the past in the past. Each day is a new day. If you previously had an affair, broke a law, or wasn’t as helpful or understanding as you could have been, you can't change the past. You can’t change any of these things. At best, you can make amends and then move on. If a person, group, or organization has problems about the past behavior of others (who have changed for the better) they should pursue and follow a spiritual path while focusing on the positive facets of people.
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